Snotgirl: Green Hair Don’t Care

I wanted to like this book. The artwork is so me. The cover is textured. Yet just like Donald Trump in the oval office, some things (or people) just don’t work.

Lottie is a fashion blogger with extreme allergies – like so extreme that it is literally the main conflict of the series. In addition, the characters failed to possess any depth. Lottie nicknames all her friends because apparently she would forget their names if she didn’t . . . seriously, that is her reason. Wouldn’t making and remembering a nickname essentially be the same as learning and remembering a name? Anyways, the nicknames are incredibly underwhelming: “Cute Girl,” and “Cool Girl” to name a few. Guess what, Cute Girl is cute and Cool Girl is cool (or at least she is perceived to be by the characters). I am sure that these nicknames are meant to highlight how shallow Lottie can be but does it really need to be so explicit? I mean, couldn’t she be a more creative? She is a fashion blogger after all so I assume she possesses some kind of creativity. Like instead of “Cool Girl,” Lottie could have dubbed Caroline, “Amazon,” or something that is known to be cool yet simultaneously adds one ounce of depth to a character.

Now even if I somehow managed to overlook this major flaw, the plot made very little sense to me. To say that I was lost during my reading would be a gross understatement (and that is not taking Snottie into account). I found myself flipping back through pages Image[3972]because I felt that I had accidentally skipped some because some pages had no correlation to what had just happened on the previous panel. The premise, a fashion blogger who tries to project the image of perfection despite her own flaws, is one that I can appreciate because it is something current and relatable. However, as for the rest of the plot . . .

Lottie is prescribed a trial-run of an allergy medication to help her with her intense allergies. During her first time on the medication, she goes to a bar with Caroline and disappears in the bathroom after bumping into her ex and his new girlfriend, Charlene (who also seems to be obsessed with Lottie). Caroline enters the bathroom to console Lottie yet slips on the allergy pills that Lottie drops, cracks her head, and dies as she bleeds out. Lottie seems only slightly bothered as the days pass – which is okay because she bumps into Caroline at a party so I guess she hallucinated the event? Yet maybe she did not because a detective brings her the bloody allergy pills – but Caroline seems fine and is recognized by others later in the volume. Yet at the end of the volume Caroline is bleeding from her head as she hugs Lottie. Charlene then, who was there at the bar, tries to explain to Lottie (and US) what actually happened at the bar but Caroline pushes her and she falls off a ledge, so I guess she dies? Or maybe in the next volume she will be walking around without any explanation as well. Does anything die in this volume aside from my desire to continue the series?

Sometimes the plot and characters might be mundane but the writing itself is redeeming. Sometimes but not this time. What is the un-hippest thing that you can think of? Aside from me using the phrase “un-hippest,” there is nothing more hip than someone trying extremely hard to prove that they are – and that is exactly what this series tries to do. With its nuanced use of unknown phrases like OMFG, LOL. and IKR, the writers were kind enough to let us into their world and provide the definitions of these rare acronyms. Wait, you want to know when this book was published? 2017, why? Are you suggesting that the demographic for this series would know what these words would mean in 2017? OMG are you suggesting that the writers blocked their own shot by providing these definitions? CYDTS*?

* Can You Detect the Sarcasm? – See? This is how these things work. You define words or phrases that your audience will most likely not know.

I think that the only thing that could redeem this series is if it is revealed that Lottie is hallucinating as a result of her new allergy medication. Then the entire trippy and holey plot would make sense. Then there would be layers to her character. Oh, or if Caroline and Charlene are just projections of an internal battle occurring within Lottie. Caroline would be the image that Lottie is trying to permanently maintain, whereas Charlene is her insecure self attempting to fit in. See, those ideas would make for a good read! I think I would have to read more to make an honest recommendation, because right now, it would be a definite snot.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Favorite Quote:

IMG_7546[3973]

How could you expect her to remember her old intern when she cannot even remember a name like Caroline?

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